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[09 Sep 2007|01:42pm] |
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music |
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Tori Amos: Father Lucifer |
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I thought I'd copy Liam and post my 25 Most Played iTunes Tracks.
01. Tom Novy ft. Lima: Take It
02. Something With Numbers: Apple Of The Eye
03. Jack Colwell: Rat-A-Tat-Tat
04. Tegan and Sara: The Con
05. Basement Jaxx: Take Me Back To Your House
06. Wicked: Defying Gravity
07. James Morrison: This Boy
08. Sandi Thom: What If I'm Right
09. Amiel: Be Your Girl
10. Marit Larsen: Under The Surface
11. Operator Please: Two For My Seconds
12. Darren Hayes: On The Verge Of Something Wonderful
13. Jack Colwell: As Much As I Like Peaches
14. Marion Raven: Break You
15. Patrick Wolf: The Magic Position
16. Silverchair: Straight Lines
17. Sneaky Sound System: UHO
18. Avril Lavigne: GirlfriendDeja Vu (Freemasons Dance Remix)
19. Britney Spears vs Linkin Park: Faint Toxic
20. The Gossip: Standing In The Way Of Control
21. Jack Colwell: Who Framed Veruca Salt
22. Linda Edar: Bring On The Men
23. Bodyrox: Yeah Yeah (D.Ramirez Vocal Mix)
24. Gia Farrell: Hit Me Up
25. Rumours: Lindsay Lohan
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| Mother |
[19 Aug 2007|06:47pm] |
Mother dear, please hush a little
The tea is ready, have a sip or two
Leave the hawks on the window, please
Sit a while and listen to your daughter.
Mother dear, don’t cut so deep
I’ll bleed over your quilt
Your pretty pink tapestry
And I know that’d only make you red
Mother dear, don’t slam that door
Don’t throw the bottles my way
Smile for me mother, please
I need your little love right now.
Mother dear, why can’t you care?
Can the spaces in-between shift?
Do you think we’ll fix this, Mother?
Can you just hold me please, Mother.
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| Boy in White |
[19 Aug 2007|06:13pm] |
See the boy in white
Dancing on the streets
Rain pelting down
Don’t stop those tappin’ feet
How’s the rhythm, Boy in White?
Does the beat suit your style
Or are the ropes more your thing?
Do you like it on your side?
Come now, Boy in White
You know you asked for this
A little cut aint gonna hurt
Don’t move, I might miss.
The purple won’t last long, young man
So we’ll take a snapshot or two
I’ll show a few of my friends
They’ll wanna do you too!
Oh stop crying you big girl
It’s really just a scratch
If it does happen to scar
I can cut another to match.
I might love you, boy in white
Is that ok with you?
It’s not like I planned it
Though I fear you want it too
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[08 Aug 2007|08:57pm] |
If we could change a single step
One footfall along the way
Would we go back and fall again?
Do I really think it would change?
You’re not the little victim
Not the way I thought you were
The rabbits and china dolls
Well, someone put them on the floor.
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[08 Aug 2007|08:56pm] |
A little more red, a touch of rouge
Moments of passion
Moments of nothing
Your side is your side
I think I’ll keep it that way
But after their cigarette
Others might lie on your shadow
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| Tegan And Sar: The Con |
[08 Aug 2007|08:55pm] |
I listened in
Yes I'm guilty of this you should know this
I broke down and wrote you back before you had a chance to
Forget forgotten
I am moving past this giving notice
I have to go
Yes I know the feeling, know you're leaving
Calm down, I'm calling you to say
I'm capsized, staring on the edge of safe
Calm down, I'm calling back to say
I'm home now
I'm coming around, I'm coming around
Nobody likes to but I really like to cry
Nobody likes me
Maybe if I cry
Spelled out your name and lists the reasons
Pain of heart
Don't call me back
I imagine you when I was distant
Non-insistent
I follow suit and laid out on my back
Imagine that
A million hours left to think of you and think of that
Calm down, I'm calling you to say
I'm capsized, staring on the edge of safe
Calm down, I'm calling back to say
I'm home now
I'm coming around, I'm coming around
Nobody likes to but I really like to cry
Nobody likes me
Maybe if I cry
Encircle me, I need to be, taken down
Nobody likes to but I really like to cry
Nobody likes me
Maybe if I cry
Nobody
Encircle me, I need to be, taken down
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| Project |
[17 Jun 2007|02:11am] |
I'm going to be stealing Jack's idea of posting a series of pieces on the people in my life. I won't tell people who's who, I won't promise I'll write about particular people, I won't be hinting at an order I will write in. You can try guess, but I won't confirm or deny.
Jack has suggested I used the dewy system to number my pieces. I'm going to consider a system to categorise people by that will fit into the dewy system. I won't reveal too much about that though.
EDIT: Jack has taught me a new word, vignettes. These will be vignettes.
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| A rant for no reason |
[17 Jun 2007|01:40am] |
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This is directed at no one, it's just a general rant to get some things that bother me out there:
If all you're giving the world is nice hair, a cute smile and a big dick do you really have a right to be surprised when that's all the world wants from you? Why do you insist on sending out these paintings of yourself? A painting only captures a moment, a few details, some specifics the artist wants made permanent. It's so frustrating to see you putting that out there. Yeah, those things are great, no complaints, but I know there's more to you. I know your daddy touched you. I know you owned a dog called Sparky. Your favourite movie was Aladdin because you liked to wrap a towel around your head and sing along to the songs. You like to sit in front of the heater until your jeans get so hot they almost hurt. You don't like George Bush because he treats American's army as a meat factory.
You have opinions, you've got arguments to make, there are things above and beyond your image and the next fuck that you care about, why can't you give the world some of that? You're not shallow, I reject the notion of the kiddies pool. Even if you can't swim so well you're tall enough to jump into the Olympic sized one and stand.
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| Returned. |
[13 Jun 2007|05:30pm] |
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music |
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Alanis Morissette - This Grudge |
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So everyone, I'm back.
But anyway, I just wanted to reactivate this thing so I didn't lose it.
I won't be writing specifics about people now, it isn't fair to them. I'm not a journalist and this isn't my private journal, anyone can see it. If there's something here about you that you want removed, tell me. I've had a look over the last few entries and removed specific things I think but I might have missed something.
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[21 Apr 2007|01:03am] |
I think I'm taking life too seriously at the moment. I have a somewhat proper job, I'm in bed before 11 most nights and out of the house before 8:30 in the morning. The idea of going out dancing makes me feel anxious rather than excited and the thought of getting drunk makes me feel guilty for a few reasons I'd rather not share in full.
In a couple of weeks time when the job feels more secure, more normal, maybe then I'll relax a little. I think at this stage I'm still trying to impress people and perform well. I don't have savings to fall back on if this job fails and I don't have anyone to help me, really, if I have no money. I like supporting myself but the idea still scares me from time to time so that I need to spend a few days on mum's lounge eating a Doritos and watching Foxtel.
My brother leaves for England on Wednesday, going for three months I think.
There isn't much point to this entry, just sharing a few thoughts.
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[15 Apr 2007|07:14pm] |
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I'm working for an insurance company, how the hell did that happen?
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| The Commission and I |
[02 Apr 2007|10:53pm] |
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music |
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Tori Amos: Black-Dove (January) |
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So dear friends, a chapter of my life is quickly coming to an end. This Thursday will be my last ever day at the NSW Commission for Children and Young People, now also operating under the banner of Office for Children jointly with the Children's Guardian.
I joined this independent statutory body around March 2004 after I completed my HSC and was sick of sitting around relaxing. First as a Community Education Trainee I worked in the office four days a week and had one day of training to attain my Certificate III in Business Administration. For the most part I could have sat the exams and attained the certificate in a matter of weeks, not months, but I played by the rules (well, I did manage to spend as many of my training days in the office as possible).
On the job for this role I was assisting in many ways: office bitch, proof reader, website maintenance, sometimes receptionist, and a project officer for publications to varying degrees. Although paid shameful amounts of money (I know it was standard award but for young person's advocacy body they should be making a stand) I think I enjoyed this role the most. There were a lot of little tasks to be done and deadlines to be met. Some of the things I did mattered. I even got to write one of the annual reports as well as handling its design, print and distribution. It doesn't seem much to me now but at the time I was quite proud of that.
After a false farewell my stint as full-time receptionist followed. It's a pretty stock-standard job and was quiet and boring at times but I got to speak to a lot of people, some saner than others, which I think helped to build my confidence in communicating. When you answer a phone not knowing if it's going to be someone from a Minister's office or a paedophile looking for some help your phone manner sharpens pretty quickly.
There were a few brief weeks in the Child Death Review Team here, just general administrative support, nothing to write home about, but I gained quite a good friend workin in this team so it's worth mentioning.
Finally we come to the role I've hated the most. I'm not sure what to call it and really, without it I would have been screwed over the last few months so I should be grateful. I basically assisted all the teams getting their record management in order. Teaching people how to use our file management system, cleaning up file rooms, filing 6 foot high - I'm not joking - stacks of documents, that sort of thing. The work was very boring and I admit I became very sloppy with it. Still, I appreciate being given a job when there wasn't really on there.
On the whole my experience at the Commission has certainly been very positive. The highlight though, aside from the wonderful knowledge I've gained, are the people I have met. Three housemates and plenty of wonderful friends and acquaintances. Some of these people I've already shared many hilarious and touching moments with and some of them I will continue to know for many years to come.
From here I move on to work for Insurance Australia Group as a Case Manager. I admit I have little knowledge of the inner workings of insurance but they were looking for strong communicators with customer service experience and I apparently fit the bill. There will be a month of intensive training and then two more months training-in-work before I come off probation but I'm excited. I'm looking forward to learning new things and meeting new people. I start on April 10 so I'll be sure to let you all know how it goes.
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[25 Mar 2007|09:27pm] |
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I've eaten more today than I have in months. God I feel fat and ill.
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| Oprah's Cult and a brother's birthday |
[19 Mar 2007|09:15pm] |
Ah I haven't spent a day in bed watching tv for so long, and having Simeon next to me made it even better. We just ate some 2-minute noodles and tried to keep up with a terrible Kirsty Alley movie and an Oprah episode that seemed to be promoting a cult. I'm sure they weren't but hey, its funnier that way.
I want to write about the weekend I had but to be honest I really can't be bothered. I'll sum it up with a few points.
*Carlotta's Priscilla show
*My brother's birthday
*Drama at Arq
*Crazy times at home - my bedroom was littered with clothes
*Conversations about flowers on Trashbag Hill.
I had a really great time. My relationship with Simeon gets stronger and stronger. We even managed to have a few serious conversations without Simeon changing the subject! Heh.
I'll give a proper update some time soon.
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| Happy 4 Months, Lover! |
[19 Feb 2007|11:15pm] |
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music |
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Butterfly Boucher: I Can't Make It |
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I'm having a bit of a moment right now. One of those moments after a really nice weekend that has you wishing it didn't end. I'm a bit sad but very thankful for my the people in my life at the moment. I have a lot of love.
Speaking of which, it was four months for Simeon and I on Sunday. It was so nice to spend the day with him yesterday and today. We went out for a little but mostly we relaxed and enjoyed each others company. Love that boy.
We also both expressed that we had been having doubts about the relationship simply because of how busy Simeon is going to be. We both came to the same conclusion though, we love each other and it is a good relationship so we're going to make it work. He said that sometimes he forgets how much I mean to him, that sometimes he's so busy it just sort of slips his mind. But he seemed really happy to be with me this weekend so I hope he tries to remember that next time he's questioning if it's all worth it.
On a different note, I applied for a couple of jobs at AAPT. They have offices just around the corner so it would be nice and easy to get to at least. One of the jobs is the graveyard shift but that's alright, something different. I'm not sure about the pay but considering I'm not working much at the moment I'd accept almost anything to keep me busy and pay off my credit card.
Anyway, I'll leave the random reporting there. I'll be back in a few days with some exciting news, I'm just waiting on some more information to come through.
- Gav.
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| Happy Birthday ,Simeon. |
[11 Feb 2007|11:12pm] |
My baby turned 19 today. We brought in the next year of his life the only way I know how; drinking so much alcohol I can't remember my own name and dancing like the fools that we are. It was a good night. Tom, Kevin, Gary, Hugh, my brother Shane, Simeon and I all frolicked around Arq for the better part of 8 hours, give or take. The music was just perfect thanks to Sandy Hotrod or whatever her name is. She's a good DJ, one of the better ones I've heard.
For his present I got Simmy a pack of the original Waite Tarot and a well-reviewed book teaching Tarot called "78 Degrees of Wisdom". He always plays with my cards when he comes over so I thought he'd appreciate his own. He seemed genuinely pleased so I'm pleased too.
I really do adore him, maybe a little too much. I'd forgotten how it is to be enthralled by someone and how they make you feel. So vulnerable, on a knife's edge but smiling. He makes me feel so many emotions that scare me, but I'm glad for it. He drives me insane but I'm not going to stop him, I don't want to stop him.
The thing about being in love is that you're never in control. That's the ultimate sacrifice, it's what you give to join two lives together. I never know if today he'll bring out my frustrations or he will make me forget my troubles. Either way, I'm glad to have him and thankful for our time together.
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[05 Feb 2007|05:14pm] |
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Ah I love my Simmy. He surprises me sometimes with how loving his words can be. I have to give him more credit and not get so grumpy with him.
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[28 Jan 2007|12:22pm] |
I've rediscovered my favourite quote. It's from [u]Blood Canticle[/u] by Anne Rice. It's said by Dolly Jean, an old lady of the powerful Mayfair family. The Mayfairs are renoundly wealthy, influential and powerful in both natural and preternatural ways. The quote concerns Rowan Mayfair, the brilliant doctor, (mad) scientist, psychic and magnate of the clan. Rowan has killed and been tortured. She knows more about the world than her mind, perhaps any mind, can grasp without incident. She slips into madness trying to conceal and control her sins and the knowledge she's privilege to. To use a cliché of sorts, she walks a fine line.
When speaking about Rowan Mayfair, Dolly Jean says, with natural wisdom, "You can never love this girl enough. Every morning she gets up, eats breakfast and goes to Hell, I swear it". These words resound with me so powerfully every time I read them and I can't help but feel deep sadness for Rowan. The ignorant truly are blissful.
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[25 Jan 2007|01:43pm] |
This extract from Dictionary of the Khazars, a Lexicon novel, MALE EDITION, is a poem of Princess Ateh's. The Princess was protectress of the political and religious sect of dream hunters said to possess the skills to travel between dreams to find items, people, animals and all manner of objects.
When at night we fall asleep, we all turn into actors and step each time onto a different stange to play our part. and by day? By day, when we are awake, we learn our part. Sometimes, when we donot learn it well, we dare not appear on the stage and instead hide behind other actors, who for the moment know their lines and moves better than we do.
And you, you come to the theater to watch our performance, not to act in it. May your eye behold me when I am well rehearsed, for no one is either wise or beautiful all seven days of the week.
I thought it was really poignant, especially the last line.
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